The Call is Coming from Inside

What happens when the cry for assistance is your own, or a loved one’s?

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "One should be able to see things as hopeless, and yet be determined to make them otherwise." This one sentence speaks volumes about optimism and a growth mindset: It’s not about blind “Pollyanna” positivity or going through life with rose-colored classes; It’s about believing we can make things better, and a willingness to roll up our sleeves to make it that way. It's about mixing hope with action.

But then there’s the gritty reality of working a job like ours. Every one of us has had “the call you can’t forget.” We try not to bring these calls home with us, but what happens when the call is coming from inside your own house? What happens when the cry for assistance is your own, or a loved one’s?

It's a scenario many of us never anticipate or prepare for.

Help for the Helpers

We are usually the problem fixers – the ones people call when stuff goes sideways. But when it comes to fixing ourselves we’re sometimes lost. You see, we’re wired differently. It’s like we're made to believe we’re invincible, untouchable. But stress and trauma accumulate for us, too, like straws on a camel's back, until one day the weight becomes too much to bear.

I've observed this firsthand as a coach, an emergency responder, and a parent.

Our family’s nearly 20-year journey into adoption and fostering has brought many difficult challenges, most recently with our adopted son who struggles with past trauma. As a stress coach and a firefighter/EMT, I often feel like I should have things more “together” – like I should automatically be more resilient. Lately, however, that isn’t the case. The past several years have been a source of nearly constant strain not only for him but for each person in our home. I’ve been right up against my breaking point more than once recently. It’s a stark reminder that early healing and support are crucial.

Unfortunately, he’s been stopped by the same roadblock that we in the emergency services often face: believing no one can understand or help you unless they’ve walked in your own boots.

This is a myth.

Consider: as a personal trainer I don’t need to be able to deadlift 550 to train someone to do it. In fire/EMS we don’t necessarily need to know exactly how a fire started to be able to put it out, or why you’re in shock to be able to treat you and keep you alive in transport. Therapists or counselors don’t always need to have experienced our traumas to be able to guide us through them.

Keep in mind that the job of a counselor isn’t to “fix us;” it’s to help us understand how to fix ourselves. It's not about connecting via shared experiences; it's about the ability to empathize, support, and guide.

Opening the Door

I often tell my fitness clients that the most difficult piece of gym equipment to use is the front door – because most people never make it through, they’ve already conquered the hardest step. When it comes to our mental health, though, the problem is often not just getting through it ourselves but letting others in.

As seeking support is a universal challenge, so is accepting it and actively engaging in it.

Earlier this year, I issued a call: “We have a problem.” Too many of us are dying or leaving the emergency services over causes that are largely preventable.

Ignoring our health, whether physical or psychological, is a common human flaw. Just like it's easy to forget a car needs regular maintenance even when it seems to be driving fine, many of us ignore our own physical and psychological health until we're sputtering and overheating with fluid leaking everywhere.

This approach not only endangers our health but also overlooks the interplay between stress, mindset, and our physical well-being.

Where the Heart Is

Stress isn't just an emotional burden; it carries physical consequences. Recent discussions and studies have highlighted the monumental impact of stress and mindset on physical health, particularly on the risk of heart disease – the leading cause of death among firefighters and a significant concern for all emergency responders.

For example: just ten hours of stress can increase the risk of cardiac fibrillation for days afterward, and built-up stress and trauma places a huge strain on your heart. Stress cardiomyopathy, often called “broken heart syndrome,” multiplies your chance of having a heart attack as much as 21 times after losing a friend or loved one, or in reaction to other stressful news or strong emotions.

The key to mitigating these risks lies in our mindset – our attitude about stress and its causes.

As I mentioned back in the January issue of the Journal, body, mind, and spirit form a kind of “wellness triangle” like the fire triangle, with each side affecting the other. There’s an interconnection between our mental and emotional state and our cardiovascular health – so while you might think of heart disease as only being affected by nutrition or exercise, your thoughts and mindset are extremely important to your physical well-being.

In fact, research on stress done by UW-Madison found that those with a negative mindset (who believed stressful situations were always bad, rather than opportunities for growth) had the worst health outcomes when exposed to stress. And depression and isolation have been shown to significantly impact heart health.

Positive mindsets and social connections have been consistently linked to not only better cardiac health but also stronger resilience, an improved immune system, and better overall health.

Rather than ignoring stress or distracting ourselves from it, this is about changing how we react to it.

Check out last issue’s article if you’d like to read more about the impact of mindset.

Our mental health is inextricably linked to our physical health – and especially to our heart. The journey towards a healthier heart, body, and mind begins with recognizing the power of optimism, and with the willingness to face, rather than avoid, our challenges. By nurturing our psychological well-being, we're taking a vital step towards a healthier, more resilient self.