Myths We Tell Ourselves
The Tall Tales That Keep Us Stuck — and How to Break the Spell
I love reading fairy tales, folk tales, and fables. Always have. My personal collection of interesting folk and fairy tale books has been steadily growing for years — every time we visit a used bookstore, I peruse the "folklore & mythology" section to see whether anything catches my fancy. And while I'm not a subject matter expert by any means, I did once develop and teach a high school level course on reading and interpreting ancient and modern fairy tales.
Part of the reason I love them so much, aside from the fact that they're just fun to read, is that their themes can still be seen in and applied to life today — everything from cautionary advice to interpersonal relations to business and personal ethics.
Over the years, I’ve realized that we don’t just read stories — we live them. Every day, we tell ourselves little tales and personal fables. Some are helpful, but others are pure fiction — stories or myths we invent to justify our choices, soothe our anxieties, or avoid uncomfortable truths. In a way, we’re all the unreliable narrators of our own lives, spinning stories that shape what we do (or don’t do).
Some of our personal myths actually help us move forward, especially when life gets tough. These are the stories that give us hope, resilience, and a reason to keep going, even when the path isn’t clear. Stories like:
“There’s got to be a lesson here,” which helps us reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than reasons to give up, when things don’t go as planned.
“I can do this,” encouraging ourselves that, even when the solution isn’t obvious, we have the resourcefulness to figure things out.
“Something good has to come of this,” which helps us stay open to possibilities and weather storms with a little more grace.
But just as some stories help us, others can quietly hold us back. Here are a few common self-myths that keep us from moving forward—and how to rewrite them.
The “I’m Just Going to Scroll Facebook for a Few Minutes” Myth
“I’ll just check my feed real quick — just a couple of minutes.”
We tell ourselves we’re just going to take a quick peek at social media, but somehow, a few minutes turns into half an hour (or more). Before we know it, we’ve lost track of time, our to-do list is untouched, and we’re not even sure what we were looking for in the first place.
The Truth Behind the Myth: social media is designed to hijack our attention and reward us with little hits of dopamine — likes, comments, new posts. It’s an easy escape from boredom, stress, or tasks we’d rather avoid. Our brains love novelty and distraction, so “just a few minutes” almost always turns into more.
Rewrite Your Story: Ask yourself, “What am I hoping to get out of this scroll?” If it’s a break you need, try a walk, a stretch, or a real conversation instead.
The “Snooze Button Time Warp” Myth
“Five more minutes and I’ll be a new person.”
We convince ourselves that just a few more minutes of sleep will make all the difference. But the snooze button is less a tool for rest and more a gateway to a parallel universe where time moves twice as fast and you wake up groggier than before.
The Truth Behind the Myth: We crave comfort and want to avoid the discomfort of getting up. Our brains are wired to seek immediate pleasure (more sleep) over long-term benefit (a calm, productive morning). This is classic present bias — valuing now over later.
Rewrite Your Story: Try asking yourself, “What’s one thing I can do tonight to make getting up easier tomorrow?” (Set out clothes, prep coffee/breakfast, or put your alarm across the room.)
The “I’ll Clean This Up First” (Productive Procrastination) Myth
“I’ll just tidy up this one thing before I start that important task…”
This is the art of looking busy while avoiding what really matters. Suddenly, organizing the sock drawer or alphabetizing the spice rack feels urgent — anything to delay that big, daunting project.
The Truth Behind the Myth: We’re avoiding anxiety or fear of failure that comes with starting something important. Cleaning gives us a sense of control and accomplishment, but it’s a safe, low-stakes win compared to the riskier task we’re dodging.
Rewrite Your Story: Ask, “What’s the most important thing I can do right now?” and commit to starting that — even if it’s just for five minutes.
The “I’ll Get to That Later” Myth
“I’ll do it tomorrow. Future Me will be way more motivated.”
We love to believe that our future selves are superheroes — more disciplined, more energetic, and definitely more organized. But when tomorrow becomes today, we’re still the same person, facing the same resistance.
The Truth Behind the Myth: This is temporal discounting — we overvalue immediate comfort and undervalue future consequences. It’s also a way to avoid discomfort now by outsourcing it to our future selves.
Rewrite Your Story: Instead of waiting, ask, “What’s one small step I can take today?” Even a tiny action beats waiting for the perfect moment.
The “If I Can’t Do It Perfectly, Why Bother?” Myth
“If I can’t do the whole workout, I won’t do any.”
Perfectionism masquerades as high standards, but it’s really just fear in a clever disguise. We tell ourselves that if we can’t do something flawlessly, it’s not worth starting at all.
The Truth Behind the Myth: We fear failure and judgment, so we set the bar so high that we have an excuse not to try. This protects our self-esteem — if we don’t start, we can’t fail.
Rewrite Your Story: Remind yourself, “Progress beats perfection. Small steps add up.” Doing something — however small or imperfect — is always better than doing nothing.
The “I’m Not That Person” Myth
“I could never do that. I’m just not wired that way.”
This is the most dangerous myth of all: the one that minimizes our potential and our impact. We see someone achieve something impressive — run a marathon, start a business, make a big life change — and we turn them into a superhero in our minds. We tell ourselves they must have some special gene, superhuman willpower, or magical routine. This myth is comforting because it lets us off the hook: if they’re just “built different,” we don’t have to risk failure or discomfort by trying.
The Truth Behind the Myth: This myth protects us from the discomfort of change and the risk of failure. By believing others are fundamentally different, we give ourselves permission not to try — and avoid the vulnerability of effort and possible disappointment.
Rewrite Your Story: Instead of asking, “Am I that kind of person?” ask, “What’s one small step I could take today to start moving in that direction?” Success is built on ordinary, unglamorous effort — showing up, day after day, and doing the work.
The Lesson and the Challenge
Just as every folk or fairy tale has a lesson tucked between the lines, the stories we tell ourselves shape the paths we walk every day. Some of our personal myths are harmless, even charming — like ancient tales of clever tricksters or magical shortcuts. But others quietly keep us from growing, trying, or reaching for something better.
The beauty of fairy tales is that, no matter how dark the forest or daunting the quest, the hero always has the chance to change their fate — often by seeing through an illusion, breaking a spell, or rewriting the story.
The same is true for us.
The “myths” we tell ourselves aren’t set in stone; they’re just stories. And stories can be revised.
So here’s my challenge to you: this week, pay attention to the little fables you tell yourself — especially the ones that keep you comfortable, stuck, or small. When you catch yourself in a self-myth, whether from the list above or from your own personal “storybook,” pause and ask:
Is this really true?
Where did this story come from?
What would happen if I rewrote it, even just a little?
Every great story is about transformation — and the best ones are the ones we choose to rewrite for ourselves.
And I’d love to hear from you:
What’s a self-myth you’ve caught yourself telling? Have you found a way to reframe it, or are you still working on it? Share your story in the comments or send me a message — I’m always curious to hear how others are rewriting their own tales.