Is It Fair to All Concerned?
Maintaining perspective and balance in the pursuit of excellence
In our pursuit of success and excellence, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. However, measuring our internal struggles against the polished images others may present to the world is not only unfair but can be detrimental to our well-being.
In my last column I introduced Rotary’s “Four-Way Test” and related its first point – “Is It True?” – to fitness and wellness. This week I’m looking at the second point, which asks, “Is it fair to all concerned?” This question is particularly relevant when considering balance in life.
We're frequently bombarded with images of success, particularly in the world of sports and athletics. Recently, the summer Olympics showcased incredible feats of human performance, leaving many of us in awe of what the human body and mind can achieve.
We may look up to these athletes as role models or examples of an ideal representing perseverance, hard work, and dedication, but they often hide an unspoken secret: The pursuit of “excellence at any cost” can come with a heavy price, one that isn't always visible from the outside.
Athletes like Dan Jansen, Simone Biles, and Naomi Osaka, for example, highlight this reality. Despite outward appearances of readiness and success, they struggled internally to the point where it affected their performance or led them to step away from competition altogether.
There’s an opportunity cost or trade-off to any endeavor, and when applied to our personal lives, the question “is it fair to all concerned?” becomes crucial in maintaining work-life balance. It's great to have goals and passions, but how balanced are we really? Are our pursuits consuming our lives at the expense of relationships and other important aspects of life?
Be fair to your family. Is your drive and ambition in your career, hobbies, or goals so intense that you neglect your mental and emotional health or leave your family behind? Do you have such a passion for something that it's the only thing you do in your free time? Do you work or study so hard that you're too exhausted for family or spiritual life? Your family needs you to be physically, mentally, and emotionally present with them.
Be fair to your community. Are you caring for yourself well enough to be there when your work crew or community needs you? When considering the opportunity cost of fitness and wellness (the time and effort it takes that could be going toward other activities), also think about the cost of NOT taking care of yourself. Exercise may seem inconvenient now, but the cost of disease, injury, or - for firefighters - failing at tasks on the fire ground would be far worse later.
Be fair to yourself. I've previously written about the virtues of service and generosity, which includes being generous to yourself. Don't judge yourself by someone else's workout, appearance, or routine. When we see Olympic athletes – or anyone, for that matter – at the pinnacle of achievement, it’s easy to compare ourselves with them.
But a line from the old poem Desiderata says, “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter….” Everyone is on a different journey, and while there’s a place for everyone not every place is for everyone. Someone else’s path shouldn’t be yours.
While we can admire elite athletes for their dedication, hard work, and ability to overcome obstacles, it's important to recognize the potential downsides of their lifestyle. The extreme measures some take to achieve success - leaving home at an early age for training, following rigorous schedules, adhering to strict diets, and in some cases, resorting to performance-enhancing drugs – can come at a significant personal cost.
As we strive for our own goals and success, it's crucial to maintain perspective and balance. Aim for excellence. But do so while also prioritizing mental and emotional health, nurturing relationships, and allowing time for personal growth and spiritual development. After all, true success encompasses more than just achievements in a single area of life - it's about leading a fulfilling, well-rounded existence.